make me feel tiny.
if it makes you feel tall.

The light was fading, the night was slowly setting in, the grass was soft under my feet, it felt like something of a lush carpet, not tainted by thorns or prickles that left scars in the tender skin on the bottom of my feet. The grass was green, even in the twilight you could see it, i liked this place. Strangely i always had, though i did not know why. To others it was repulsive, perhaps that was because it was beautiful, and some people were repulsed by beauty. Even in the smallest aspect. Some tried their very hardest to destroy the beauty of the world, i had known this, i had seen it before. Fires, lit with the intention to burn, to destroy. They were like demons in a way, with the ability ony to destroy, not to create. The ability to use, not to make. They sucked the beauty dry off this world. Leaving it lifeless, ugly. But i was a different creature all together, not an angel. No, i woud never be so vain as to assume myself an angel. But i tried to see beauty, even in the darkest parts of the world. Even in parts where beauty seemed to have evaportated. But peaceful? Pah! I was not peaceful, i would fight for what i saw as right, it was why i was alone. I had will, i had fire. Men did not seem to like that in their women. But i did not care. I was Ferae. Enough said.

"Its so ... lonely." My words broke the silence of the atmosphere, they seemed to sit there, lingering in the air for a moment, before they dispersed into the air. I talked to myself, i was not ashamed of that. Nor did i attempt to cover it up. But these words were true, as beautiful as this place was, it was lonely. But more than that, i was lonely. For so long i had been lonely, managing to convince myself that my own company was more than adequate. I was wrong of course, but i was not a liar, i simply twisted the truth to make it seem nicer, but still i was wrong. Perhaps this, my lonliness, perhaps this was my punishment for my 'twisting of the truth' yet i had not made an effort. To find company, i had simply drifted off into my own world. To all others i came off as bitter and unresponsive, insane when i spoke to someone that none others could see. And yet i made no effort to change, and none saw any real desire to change within me.

Have you ever tried to catch smoke? Well i have, it is one of those forces of nature that you cannot contain, one that defies you with every bone in its body. Theoretically speaking. In a sense it was like trying to catch me, i was unresponsive to the clasping hands, to the pleading, even to the bags sed to sustain me, to contain me. Free. Yes, that was a good term for it. Even my appearance suggsted a wilder side than what first impressions gave. My black hair was cropped to my shoulders, it was different lengths, never the one length, it fell over my eyes on one side of my face, and it was never tied back. Often there would be leaves or twigs caught up in my hair. My skin was pale, but never freckled, i burned sometimes, yet i never freckled. Sometimes i was envious of those with lush locks of fire but i learned to cope. My eyes were emerald, deep and i had been told entrancing. When it was not twlight, they matched the colour of the grass. My body was slender, not huge and busty, but then bust had never been a great concern to me. Some said i was made of a wild beauty. Did i agree? Well, i had never been caught admiring myself in my reflection. But let them think of me what they will. It was no concern of mine.

My legs folded in the middle of a clearing. I sat upon the grass, staring up at the night sky. My hands were folded across my lap, my hair down my neck and my head tilted up to the sky. The moon bathed my skin in pale moonlight, making it glow almost eerily. To one watching it would be an odd sense of surreal. Perhaps pretty? Perhaps repulsive. It depended on your outlook of beauty.

make me feel tiny.
if it makes you feel tall.

There was not a noise, everything moved, though it moved softly. Their footsteps were masked by whatever serenity this night had placed in the earth. My senses were wide open, i missed nothing, and yet at the same time was evaded. You could not always get everything you hoped for, this proved to be correct. For i missed many things, some that would do better to have noticed. That for one my company had not been so lonely all along. But the Lady attracted me, in a way the sun could not, she held a glow that was peacful to look at. Where the sun burned, the Moon healed. It was a process. But I had always found more solaice in the Lady's moonlight. I could almost feel her on my skin, soothing it, cooling it almost, her touch made me shiver, and yet i did not move, one could say i was captivated by the nightime. I did not need sleep, i could stay out here forever. But forever was an overstatement. Yet an age, yes, an age i could do. I smile lit my lips, faintly as my eyes surveyed the skies, my wings faintly folded at my back.

And so captivated by the peace i had found, by the beauty i had stumbled across that i did not notice the man as he noticed me. But it was no suprise, he lay in the longer grass by the rim of the trees. A place which i only lurked in the full sun, not in the nighttime. Yet his words did not escape my notice, i did not jump as another may have when startled by the unknown presence of someone unheard, i simply turned my head, slowly. The smile still touching my features. I saw him, propped slightly up on his hands and i nodded my head in acknowledgement. "I agree. She is also quite beautiful tonight." My words were soft, when Emerald Break was in her full glory in the sunlight they would not have been heard. Yet the night carried my soft words far. They were sweet, the night calming my usually smart tounge. As were most things, i was different in the nighttime. Calmer almost.

Through my mind ran thoughts, it seemed more habit that i planned my conversations, not that i listened to my thoughts much anymore. I had long given up trying to seem normal to the rest of the world. It was their choice how they percieved normal, for in ones own world, the normal was what you knew. Anything outside that was different. I had always wondered, what was it that made different so wrong? So unbearable? Did they fear that it was dangerous, perhaps it gave the wrong impression. Well, whatever it was, i liked it. I liked different, it left you wondering what would come next. It didn't leave me having to plan my conversations, word by word, action by action. I could be myself, and nobody would question my motives, nobody would give that raised eyebrow look. Sometimes i wondered if i took my wit for granted, it was my logic, for where others thought things through, i acted on instinct, i acted on what i thought was right at that time. There was little i regretted, and most of what i regretted was of things i didn't do, rather than what i should have done.

"Can i ask your name stranger? I am Ferae." Again my words were quiet, it was a request. If he did not wish to reveal his name then i would not pursue the matter. But it seemed rude to me to call him 'stranger' throughout the duration of the conversation, however long that may last. I seemed sidetracked, i knew this, and yet nothing i could do would stop it. The night had me like this, almost as if i was high on a drug of some sort. But i was not, the night had strange effects on me. In the day i was different, i was fiery, defiant. Not this calm self. It was odd, like there were two sides of me. Yet neither day nor night lasted long enough for me to discover what the difference or the cause actually was.

make me feel tiny.
if it makes you feel tall.

Faintly i wondered whether he was suprised at my reaction, i wondered what he had expected. Me to run, screaming in hysteria at the appearance of a unknown? Or simply for me to ignore him. It was one thing that always made me wonder, it always frustrated me that i never knew what someone else was thinking, i never knew what they expected. It always left me wondering, but i could never figure them out. I was not, as some liked to put it a 'people person' in fact the little i connected with other the luckier they seemed to think they were. I didn't know why, during the day i was smart, i was witty, perhaps that was why. But then there was the previous problem, i didn't know if that were the issue, or if it were something more personal. Oh listen to me. Sounding like i actually gived a shit what others thought of me, i didn't. But that did not mean i still could not wonder.

The boy, or man rather, for he was obviously older than i was. He propped himself upon his elbows, his gaze lifted to the night sky as mine had previously been. It was strange watching these movements, they were delibrate, it made me wonder whether mine looked similar. Whether they were as delibrate and as natural as he made his seem, or perhaps i was simply thinking to much, it would not be the first time. Nor i suspected would it be the last. He turned back to me, i chose that moment to faintly discover what he looked like, he was handsome, yet unlike most women i was not one to judge completly on looks, i did not simply see muscle or attraction, i looked beneath that. I looked for things that would last, not things that were temporary. Perhaps that was why men always called me picky or other such names. Because i was not there simply for a toy, nor would i allow myself to become one.

Jace. It was a name that flowed easily off the tounge, not one that you had to spell out simply to say it. As he spoke i smiled, neither of us seemed inclined to move and yet it seemed that it was not needed. "It is a pleasure to meet you also, what brings you here?" Ah small talk, the pain of existance, yet one could not sit in silence with another. Strangely it was considered rude. Though i did not see how silence, how something so peaceful could be considered rudeness.